








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 377 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 207 matches | ||
| Faceit | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3293 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1787 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1881 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1606 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2269 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,183,807 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frodo | 69% | 48 |
| #2 | DerAless -iwnl- | 60% | 62 |
| #3 | Henra21 | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | f1psyy =DD | 57% | 83 |
| #5 | Detektive i dog your mom | 56% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mo | 503 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | f1psyy =DD | 491 | 0.27 | 17 min |
| #3 | Kronuk | 321 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | +49neuerung | 295 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | DerAless -iwnl- | 212 | 0.17 | 6 min |





