








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 466 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3053 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2281 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2017 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1847 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1951 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $825,815 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goodbye | 88% | 16 |
| #2 | vin3 | 75% | 16 |
| #3 | loverboy | 71% | 14 |
| #4 | neight | 70% | 37 |
| #5 | Turtle Boy | 68% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | mang0 | 58% | 33 |
| #9 | snufaffu | 57% | 14 |
| #10 | ¿Homo Estas? | 54% | 37 |
| #11 | Rake | 53% | 30 |
| #12 | .AJ | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turtle Boy | 7 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Goodbye | 7 | 0.0177 |
| #3 | snufaffu | 7 | 0.0218 |
| #4 | ¿Homo Estas? | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Rake | 3 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .AJ | 167 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | Wilson | 145 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Turtle Boy | 139 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | ¿Homo Estas? | 137 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Rake | 131 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cmrn | +3.27 | 92 | 75 |
| #2 | bones | +2.56 | 91 | 63 |
| #3 | neight | +2.04 | 81 | 67 |
| #4 | Turtle Boy | +1.34 | 83 | 67 |
| #5 | vin3 | +1.25 | 72 | 67 |





