








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2505 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 883 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1646 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1377 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1908 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $740,019 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | colin | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | 2mas | 73% | 56 |
| #3 | Galaxy | 71% | 14 |
| #4 | dytram | 68% | 144 |
| #5 | ¿Homo Estas? | 68% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | BootyFlakes | 61% | 44 |
| #12 | a^ | 60% | 30 |
| #13 | bones | 58% | 33 |
| #14 | Wilson | 47% | 19 |
| #15 | .AJ | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dytram | 310 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | 2mas | 229 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | ¿Homo Estas? | 109 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | BootyFlakes | 107 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | bones | 106 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mang0 | +2.61 | 91 | 55 |
| #2 | dytram | +2.07 | 90 | 47 |
| #3 | bones | +1.85 | 90 | 62 |
| #4 | colin | +1.79 | 80 | 64 |
| #5 | 2mas | +1.76 | 72 | 64 |





