








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 416 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1824 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,698 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2742 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2851 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1565 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1540 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,333,211 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrossJai2 | 16 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | BonoZzz | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Ice-Cream Man | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Hasta La Vista, Baby | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Svet | 4 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 鳴子しょうきち | +6.07 | 73 | 58 |
| #2 | BonoZzz | +3.61 | 70 | 71 |
| #3 | Hasta La Vista, Baby | +3.56 | 35 | 45 |
| #4 | CrossJai2 | +2.97 | 78 | 60 |
| #5 | Svet | +2.89 | 62 | 53 |





