








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2719 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 304 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 225 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 284 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12820 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 48,236 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13217 | 27% |
| Smokes | 13797 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 9353 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 11869 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,614,690 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 小野田さかみち. | 57% | 187 |
| #2 | 鳴子しょうきち | 55% | 383 |
| #3 | Hasta La Vista, Baby | 50% | 529 |
| #4 | CrossJai2 | 47% | 558 |
| #5 | Svet | 45% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrossJai2 | 35 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Hasta La Vista, Baby | 21 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | DavisWai | 21 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | 鳴子しょうきち | 17 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Svet | 13 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 鳴子しょうきち | +4.36 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | 小野田さかみち. | +4.18 | 86 | 62 |
| #3 | BonoZzz | +2.65 | 69 | 69 |
| #4 | Hasta La Vista, Baby | +2.28 | 36 | 42 |
| #5 | Svet | +1.66 | 63 | 51 |





