








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 897 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 471 matches | ||
| Faceit | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




97 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6736 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4269 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4166 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3375 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3064 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,681,251 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1493 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clipnafty | 1383 | 0.24 | 39 min |
| #2 | GregHouseCS2 | 840 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #3 | milf hunter | 627 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #4 | 1flow | 602 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #5 | dmo | 498 | 0.17 | 15 min |





