








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 238 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2349 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,395 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3892 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2536 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1396 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1571 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $830,275 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Butch | 61% | 57 |
| #2 | jojo da lebo | 59% | 59 |
| #3 | k i l r | 56% | 213 |
| #4 | NitroDiesel | 55% | 279 |
| #5 | Suski | 54% | 222 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | NitroDiesel | 55% | 279 |
| #5 | Suski | 54% | 222 |
| #6 | @yeetuswolf | 52% | 23 |
| #7 | Big Stonks | 51% | 49 |
| #8 | wHEY | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k i l r | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | NitroDiesel | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Suski | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Butch | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | jojo da lebo | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k i l r | 500 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | NitroDiesel | 464 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | Suski | 439 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | jojo da lebo | 79 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Butch | 59 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k i l r | +2.71 | 80 | 62 |
| #2 | NitroDiesel | +0.38 | 59 | 56 |
| #3 | jojo da lebo | +0.35 | 69 | 67 |
| #4 | Butch | +0.28 | 65 | 60 |
| #5 | Suski | -0.05 | 77 | 54 |





