








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 375 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Faceit | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5623 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4591 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4670 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4098 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4854 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,264,674 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 469 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flagxy | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Damager | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Lilo | 52% | 82 |
| #4 | TheGhoulette | 49% | 88 |
| #5 | Lowlita | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | TheGhoulette | 49% | 88 |
| #5 | Lowlita | 49% | 39 |
| #6 | Spike | 48% | 40 |
| #7 | Bullet | 45% | 119 |
| #8 | Wuestenschlange | 43% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheGhoulette | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Bullet | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Damager | 3 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Wuestenschlange | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheGhoulette | 339 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | Lowlita | 276 | 0.32 | 9 min |
| #3 | Bullet | 267 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Spike | 238 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #5 | Lilo | 188 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wuchtiges Waffeleisen | +2.59 | 89 | 62 |
| #2 | TheGhoulette | +2.37 | 90 | 54 |
| #3 | Spike | +0.74 | 76 | 74 |
| #4 | Wuestenschlange | +0.37 | 80 | 54 |
| #5 | flagxy | -1.18 | 52 | 65 |





