








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 137 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2163 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1928 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2178 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1169 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1917 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $525,647 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aiM | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | wallen | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | meli | 61% | 33 |
| #4 | Luna | 59% | 70 |
| #5 | ANa | 58% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | JennyR | 53% | 15 |
| #11 | jenblob | 52% | 50 |
| #12 | Lowlita | 51% | 41 |
| #13 | vilga | 50% | 20 |
| #14 | Wuchtiges Waffeleisen | 48% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luna | 10 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | meli | 5 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Joanana | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Wuchtiges Waffeleisen | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | wallen | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joanana | 479 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | Luna | 312 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | Lowlita | 285 | 0.31 | 9 min |
| #4 | Wuchtiges Waffeleisen | 165 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | jenblob | 163 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aiM | +3.59 | 83 | 64 |
| #2 | ANa | +3.12 | 86 | 57 |
| #3 | JennyR | +2.17 | 64 | 65 |
| #4 | Wuchtiges Waffeleisen | +1.49 | 86 | 63 |
| #5 | vilga | +0.89 | 77 | 81 |





