








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 174 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,622 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1491 | 32% |
| Smokes | 978 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1295 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 858 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,264,676 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ЗkywaIker | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | War Pig | 46% | 50 |
| #3 | Wuchtiges Waffeleisen | 45% | 119 |
| #4 | TheGhoulette | 44% | 27 |
| #5 | R3mix | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | R3mix | 44% | 25 |
| #6 | Mithcair | 43% | 23 |
| #7 | Skeem | 38% | 16 |
| #8 | srebbiT | 36% | 42 |
| #9 | CowHitFace | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wuchtiges Waffeleisen | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | srebbiT | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | CowHitFace | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | R3mix | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | War Pig | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wuchtiges Waffeleisen | 409 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | srebbiT | 212 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | TheGhoulette | 124 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | War Pig | 116 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | CowHitFace | 100 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wuchtiges Waffeleisen | +3.48 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | TheGhoulette | +2.57 | 92 | 60 |
| #3 | srebbiT | +2.46 | 92 | 53 |
| #4 | CowHitFace | +2.40 | 87 | 67 |
| #5 | ЗkywaIker | +0.44 | 71 | 77 |





