








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 407 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 103 matches | ||
| Wingman | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 60 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




163 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12818 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,298 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11369 | 40% |
| Smokes | 8796 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1991 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 6142 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,939,576 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1304 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | onow | 59% | 121 |
| #2 | Kitty | 58% | 79 |
| #3 | ashhe | 57% | 108 |
| #4 | flagxy | 54% | 251 |
| #5 | shoebox | 54% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kitty | 11 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | onow | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | TinTin | 10 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Sanctified | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | ♥boop | 8 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sanctified | 729 | 0.33 | 20 min |
| #2 | ashhe | 379 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | flagxy | 376 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #4 | Whiskas | 346 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #5 | onow | 312 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheGhoulette | +3.92 | 87 | 52 |
| #2 | Wuchtiges Waffeleisen | +3.65 | 87 | 67 |
| #3 | Kitty | +3.18 | 84 | 57 |
| #4 | onow | +2.44 | 86 | 56 |
| #5 | ashhe | +1.99 | 82 | 59 |





