








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 474 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 838 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2179 | 53% |
| HE Grenades | 523 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 597 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,140,226 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 273 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ally Lotti | 48% | 79 |
| #2 | ButteredPopcorn | 47% | 154 |
| #3 | Block Supervisor | 43% | 21 |
| #4 | Space | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | Slizzard | 37% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Block Supervisor | 43% | 21 |
| #4 | Space | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | Slizzard | 37% | 41 |
| #6 | Agile Walrus | 25% | 24 |
| #7 | Mahammed Salahuddin Fahad Rehman | 25% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ButteredPopcorn | 23 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Ally Lotti | 8 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Slizzard | 7 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Block Supervisor | 4 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | Agile Walrus | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ButteredPopcorn | 302 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Ally Lotti | 170 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mahammed Salahuddin Fahad Rehman | 118 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Slizzard | 79 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Block Supervisor | 71 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ally Lotti | +3.25 | 79 | 50 |
| #2 | ButteredPopcorn | +2.43 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | Agile Walrus | +0.97 | 66 | 63 |
| #4 | Block Supervisor | +0.77 | 83 | 51 |
| #5 | Mahammed Salahuddin Fahad Rehman | -1.19 | 45 | 63 |





