








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 343 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2604 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2818 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1955 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1425 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2318 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $816,233 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 243 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ValpenVi | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | toasty | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | boxxy | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | Lucy :3 | 52% | 95 |
| #5 | girlyguy25 | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | I WILL RULE THIS STARK DOMAIN | 45% | 20 |
| #8 | donkfingus | 44% | 16 |
| #9 | ashe | 38% | 13 |
| #10 | friend | 38% | 21 |
| #11 | rand | 11% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ValpenVi | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | GP ❤︎ Crashout Queen | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | toasty | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucy :3 | 305 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | rand | 89 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | donkfingus | 88 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | boxxy | 73 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | I WILL RULE THIS STARK DOMAIN | 55 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucy :3 | +1.77 | 75 | 56 |
| #2 | ashe | +1.62 | 87 | 54 |
| #3 | toasty | +0.87 | 95 | 51 |
| #4 | girlyguy25 | +0.73 | 69 | 44 |
| #5 | Cloudy_y | -0.09 | 71 | 54 |





