








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1858 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,850 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 244 | 9% |
| Smokes | 724 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 888 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 994 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $666,084 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | prollybored | 59% | 68 |
| #3 | toasty | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | Lucy :3 | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Cloudy_y | 48% | 23 |
| #6 | I WILL RULE THIS STARK DOMAIN | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prollybored | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | toasty | 2 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cloudy_y | 119 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | toasty | 66 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lucy :3 | 39 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | prollybored | 21 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | I WILL RULE THIS STARK DOMAIN | 17 | 0.08 | 1 min |





