








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 272 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3859 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5061 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3537 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4596 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $942,233 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Randyman <3 | 71% | 28 |
| #2 | JackaN | 70% | 61 |
| #3 | BarrelDickson | 70% | 66 |
| #4 | P4rma | 69% | 111 |
| #5 | noxi | 63% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | CDJ | 61% | 77 |
| #7 | WILS♡N | 58% | 52 |
| #8 | 127mjb | 57% | 23 |
| #9 | Cal | 56% | 45 |
| #10 | The Reaper | 53% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P4rma | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | JackaN | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Cal | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | noxi | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | CDJ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P4rma | 263 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | CDJ | 203 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | WILS♡N | 143 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | JackaN | 108 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Cal | 76 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WILS♡N | +2.60 | 84 | 72 |
| #2 | P4rma | +2.40 | 81 | 69 |
| #3 | Lt. DanielSon | +1.67 | 63 | 74 |
| #4 | Cal | +0.65 | 83 | 71 |
| #5 | BarrelDickson | +0.52 | 82 | 55 |





