








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 831 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 805 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9368 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,444 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9968 | 31% |
| Smokes | 9474 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6685 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6317 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,753,929 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 574 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Camsauce | 53% | 185 |
| #2 | *almost | 52% | 276 |
| #3 | StructurE | 51% | 68 |
| #4 | The Wizard #1 Sorcerer | 51% | 212 |
| #5 | dadderino cappuccino | 51% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | StructurE | 51% | 68 |
| #4 | The Wizard #1 Sorcerer | 51% | 212 |
| #5 | dadderino cappuccino | 51% | 166 |
| #6 | tom | 46% | 83 |
| #7 | Bendmydik Completelyback | 45% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bendmydik Completelyback | 9 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | *almost | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | The Wizard #1 Sorcerer | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | dadderino cappuccino | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Camsauce | 5 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *almost | 616 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | tom | 465 | 0.28 | 10 min |
| #3 | Camsauce | 290 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | dadderino cappuccino | 256 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | The Wizard #1 Sorcerer | 244 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StructurE | +1.73 | 78 | 71 |
| #2 | The Wizard #1 Sorcerer | +0.84 | 61 | 60 |
| #3 | Camsauce | +0.54 | 65 | 71 |
| #4 | tom | +0.43 | 81 | 71 |
| #5 | Ser Monk | +0.36 | 65 | 64 |





