








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 957 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 338 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4311 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,920 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7544 | 38% |
| Smokes | 4964 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5559 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1853 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,093,643 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Wizard #1 Sorcerer | 57% | 67 |
| #2 | Camsauce | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | PreMiuM | 51% | 59 |
| #4 | *almost | 50% | 62 |
| #5 | Bendmydik Completelyback | 50% | 281 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | *almost | 50% | 62 |
| #5 | Bendmydik Completelyback | 50% | 281 |
| #6 | belly | 49% | 37 |
| #7 | Ser Monk | 46% | 83 |
| #8 | dadderino cappuccino | 43% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bendmydik Completelyback | 42 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Ser Monk | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | belly | 5 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | PreMiuM | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | The Wizard #1 Sorcerer | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bendmydik Completelyback | 1297 | 0.22 | 31 min |
| #2 | Ser Monk | 277 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | PreMiuM | 207 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | *almost | 111 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | dadderino cappuccino | 86 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Camsauce | +1.32 | 62 | 70 |
| #2 | tom | +1.13 | 83 | 72 |
| #3 | PreMiuM | +0.77 | 82 | 57 |
| #4 | The Wizard #1 Sorcerer | +0.46 | 65 | 50 |
| #5 | belly | +0.18 | 67 | 43 |





