








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 325 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3935 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,592 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2293 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2941 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4148 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3210 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,398,397 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IT'S LIT | 63% | 48 |
| #2 | good sir | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | true brexit geezer | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | The Wizard #1 Sorcerer | 51% | 181 |
| #5 | Ser Monk | 51% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Ser Monk | 51% | 166 |
| #6 | Camsauce | 50% | 133 |
| #7 | Bendmydik Completelyback | 48% | 31 |
| #8 | *almost | 48% | 215 |
| #9 | tom | 43% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *almost | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Bendmydik Completelyback | 8 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | Ser Monk | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | The Wizard #1 Sorcerer | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | tom | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ser Monk | 543 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | tom | 443 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| #3 | *almost | 410 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | The Wizard #1 Sorcerer | 234 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | Camsauce | 180 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | good sir | +2.90 | 63 | 70 |
| #2 | true brexit geezer | +2.11 | 72 | 68 |
| #3 | tom | +1.76 | 87 | 72 |
| #4 | The Wizard #1 Sorcerer | +1.61 | 66 | 58 |
| #5 | Camsauce | +1.25 | 64 | 70 |





