








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 285 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Esplay | 4 matches | 1,900 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,411 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6463 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4646 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5256 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4046 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $598,257 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Brosjan Jesus | 48% | 111 |
| #13 | sev | 48% | 21 |
| #14 | røbergツ | 47% | 36 |
| #15 | lasse | 47% | 45 |
| #16 | Smokier_ | 43% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | von1z | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | NilseerN | 8 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | pog | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Brosjan Jesus | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | VOXEL | 5 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solvoll | 494 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | von1z | 451 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | pog | 303 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #4 | Brosjan Jesus | 265 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | kos | 174 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeoN Knockout | +4.49 | 81 | 59 |
| #2 | AAA | +2.29 | 84 | 62 |
| #3 | von1z | +1.49 | 72 | 73 |
| #4 | lasse | +1.19 | 63 | 68 |
| #5 | Zeny | +1.04 | 57 | 76 |





