








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 363 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,662 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2002 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,894 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2853 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1356 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1383 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1302 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $739,086 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AAA | 52% | 93 |
| #2 | m | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | Zeny | 50% | 64 |
| #4 | von1z | 50% | 114 |
| #5 | Solvoll | 47% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solvoll | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | AAA | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Zeny | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | von1z | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | c♿ | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solvoll | 373 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | von1z | 254 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | c♿ | 222 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Zeny | 182 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | AAA | 168 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AAA | +2.25 | 84 | 58 |
| #2 | von1z | +1.74 | 72 | 72 |
| #3 | Zeny | +1.48 | 61 | 79 |
| #4 | lasse | +0.81 | 67 | 63 |
| #5 | Solvoll | -0.03 | 62 | 68 |





