








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 854 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 491 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Esplay | 25 matches | 1,421 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5962 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,938 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5094 | 18% |
| Smokes | 8809 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6800 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 8235 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,705,497 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | H3gglund | 47% | 171 |
| #10 | DIABETO | 46% | 80 |
| #11 | joey_no | 44% | 52 |
| #12 | Lm | 43% | 218 |
| #13 | Zeny | 43% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeroz | 14 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | Lm | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | H3gglund | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | NilseerN | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Buggur | 5 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeny | 356 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Lm | 269 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | H3gglund | 269 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | Jeroz | 198 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | NilseerN | 183 | 0.12 | 6 min |





