








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 642 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 276 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Esplay | 5 matches | 1,931 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3623 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3895 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2877 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3518 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,610,354 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NilseerN | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | Zeny | 55% | 157 |
| #3 | røbergツ | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | lasse | 51% | 78 |
| #5 | AAA | 51% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Brosjan Jesus | 41% | 32 |
| #13 | Ulti | 39% | 23 |
| #14 | c♿ | 38% | 73 |
| #15 | Lm | 38% | 55 |
| #16 | Smokier_ | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AAA | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | lasse | 8 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | c♿ | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Zeny | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | von1z | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeny | 510 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | von1z | 404 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | kos | 382 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #4 | AAA | 298 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | lasse | 196 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AAA | +1.87 | 83 | 60 |
| #2 | NilseerN | +1.69 | 74 | 75 |
| #3 | lasse | +1.33 | 65 | 69 |
| #4 | von1z | +1.28 | 71 | 71 |
| #5 | Zeny | +0.79 | 56 | 77 |





