








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
895 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,159 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 402 | 19% |
| Smokes | 527 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 786 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 444 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $411,230 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 319 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Virta | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Voyage | 4 | 0.0172 |
| #3 | Romeo Santos | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Ailu | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | washed | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Virta | 153 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Geggo | 126 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ailu | 123 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | washed | 78 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪dgm<3♛ #kung | 56 | 0.12 | 2 min |





