








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 796 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 465 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6114 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,062 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4353 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6047 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6280 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6382 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,109,931 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 902 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | helen keller | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | jm.- | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | dolli | 52% | 50 |
| #4 | Whaty | 51% | 180 |
| #5 | `Light <3 | 48% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | dolli | 52% | 50 |
| #4 | Whaty | 51% | 180 |
| #5 | `Light <3 | 48% | 104 |
| #6 | Voodoo Clam | 47% | 58 |
| #7 | LetsRollOutToMomsHouse | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whaty | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | `Light <3 | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Voodoo Clam | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | dolli | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | LetsRollOutToMomsHouse | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | `Light <3 | 321 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | Whaty | 210 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | dolli | 148 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Voodoo Clam | 55 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | LetsRollOutToMomsHouse | 46 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScaR-x-FacE | +1.66 | 61 | 71 |
| #2 | helen keller | +0.34 | 74 | 66 |
| #3 | jm.- | -0.13 | 72 | 52 |
| #4 | LetsRollOutToMomsHouse | -0.26 | 73 | 52 |
| #5 | `Light <3 | -0.37 | 63 | 70 |





