








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2038 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 684 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 123 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,275 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6648 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6475 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8031 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6121 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,687,462 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 454 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steve | 55% | 62 |
| #2 | the boys | 51% | 78 |
| #3 | Snake | 48% | 160 |
| #4 | JT Cowboy | 45% | 78 |
| #5 | Unsure | 43% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | the boys | 51% | 78 |
| #3 | Snake | 48% | 160 |
| #4 | JT Cowboy | 45% | 78 |
| #5 | Unsure | 43% | 49 |
| #6 | yourbestbud | 39% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snake | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | the boys | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | JT Cowboy | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | yourbestbud | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | steve | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snake | 336 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | steve | 323 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #3 | JT Cowboy | 284 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | yourbestbud | 269 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #5 | Unsure | 175 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JT Cowboy | +2.28 | 67 | 73 |
| #2 | yourbestbud | +1.49 | 90 | 64 |
| #3 | the boys | +1.22 | 72 | 59 |
| #4 | steve | +0.85 | 57 | 72 |
| #5 | Peanutphobia | -0.04 | 54 | 60 |





