








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 983 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 386 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4291 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6415 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 2075 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 3779 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,839,839 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 781 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | midsmoke | 58% | 43 |
| #2 | Azzu | 53% | 74 |
| #3 | Buttons | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | Nox | 52% | 111 |
| #5 | JT Cowboy | 50% | 325 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | yourbestbud | 47% | 173 |
| #8 | Snake | 45% | 42 |
| #9 | Peanutphobia | 43% | 49 |
| #10 | kebin | 41% | 46 |
| #11 | Phalanx | 36% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JT Cowboy | 13 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Penicillin Krillin | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | yourbestbud | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Azzu | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Peanutphobia | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JT Cowboy | 1572 | 0.23 | 43 min |
| #2 | yourbestbud | 598 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #3 | Nox | 556 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #4 | Penicillin Krillin | 302 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Azzu | 257 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yourbestbud | +2.26 | 89 | 63 |
| #2 | midsmoke | +2.15 | 53 | 67 |
| #3 | JT Cowboy | +2.04 | 61 | 73 |
| #4 | kebin | +0.89 | 65 | 47 |
| #5 | Azzu | -0.12 | 50 | 60 |





