








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
939 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,589 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 584 | 23% |
| Smokes | 606 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 835 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 564 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $301,753 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snake | 53% | 64 |
| #2 | steve | 52% | 52 |
| #3 | Peanutphobia | 51% | 78 |
| #4 | Mint | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | Jam | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snake | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Peanutphobia | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | steve | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peanutphobia | 325 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | steve | 273 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #3 | Snake | 115 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jam | 84 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mint | 29 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the boys | +1.27 | 71 | 59 |
| #2 | steve | +1.01 | 56 | 72 |
| #3 | Peanutphobia | +0.95 | 69 | 64 |
| #4 | Mint | -0.02 | 63 | 66 |
| #5 | Jam | -1.75 | 27 | 53 |





