








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 987 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 256 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




111 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6264 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,977 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4141 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3865 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4031 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3940 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,240,032 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3397 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pub_rob | 63% | 139 |
| #2 | monty | 53% | 117 |
| #3 | dodo | 53% | 291 |
| #4 | Weener Toucher | 52% | 285 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pub_rob | 63% | 139 |
| #2 | monty | 53% | 117 |
| #3 | dodo | 53% | 291 |
| #4 | Weener Toucher | 52% | 285 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pub_rob | 31 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | dodo | 27 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Weener Toucher | 17 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | monty | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pub_rob | 726 | 0.29 | 23 min |
| #2 | dodo | 643 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | Weener Toucher | 491 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | monty | 458 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tyrone | +4.61 | 71 | 58 |
| #2 | pub_rob | +3.60 | 78 | 81 |
| #3 | monty | +1.27 | 66 | 63 |
| #4 | Weener Toucher | -1.76 | 46 | 45 |
| #5 | dodo | -1.79 | 41 | 53 |





