








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 286 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2466 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,748 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4849 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2914 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3116 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2869 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $813,058 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 338 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | inEquity | 47% | 43 |
| #10 | ap0c | 43% | 37 |
| #11 | ヤESOR | 42% | 19 |
| #12 | Bhein | 42% | 38 |
| #13 | Sir Longballs | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | inEquity | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | he's coming | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | itz_Sic | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Bhein | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Viz | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itz_Sic | 352 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | Shado? | 101 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | inEquity | 96 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | he's coming | 85 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Viz | 58 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shado? | +4.45 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | he's coming | +3.01 | 80 | 56 |
| #3 | Vin <3 | +1.75 | 71 | 44 |
| #4 | Sir Longballs | +1.24 | 67 | 34 |
| #5 | The Ginge | +0.70 | 43 | 78 |





