








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1467 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,362 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5654 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5533 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3196 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2979 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,447,549 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Ginge | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Ginge | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Ginge | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Ginge | 154 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | inEquity | +2.03 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | The Ginge | -0.05 | 28 | 79 |





