








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 326 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 314 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,271 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3498 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4636 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3543 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3594 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,247,732 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 821 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil ugly hime | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | bROWNMAn | 52% | 167 |
| #3 | Gold | 50% | 170 |
| #4 | bunX | 48% | 229 |
| #5 | LIL UGLY HIME | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Gold | 50% | 170 |
| #4 | bunX | 48% | 229 |
| #5 | LIL UGLY HIME | 48% | 25 |
| #6 | crazySMD | 47% | 196 |
| #7 | 2Pockets | 44% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bunX | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | crazySMD | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Gold | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | bROWNMAn | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | 2Pockets | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bunX | 629 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #2 | bROWNMAn | 580 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #3 | Gold | 265 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | crazySMD | 218 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | 2Pockets | 201 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crazySMD | +1.33 | 69 | 52 |
| #2 | lil ugly hime | +1.23 | 66 | 67 |
| #3 | 2Pockets | +0.44 | 60 | 59 |
| #4 | cheesefrog | +0.02 | 62 | 71 |
| #5 | LIL UGLY HIME | -0.10 | 52 | 67 |





