








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 325 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3312 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,350 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2721 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2880 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2841 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1908 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,526,074 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 386 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gold | 50% | 200 |
| #2 | cheesefrog | 48% | 229 |
| #3 | JordaN | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | bROWNMAn | 46% | 199 |
| #5 | crazySMD | 46% | 281 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | bROWNMAn | 46% | 199 |
| #5 | crazySMD | 46% | 281 |
| #6 | 2Pockets | 41% | 126 |
| #7 | Syst3m-ss- | 38% | 21 |
| #8 | LIL UGLY HIME | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crazySMD | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | 2Pockets | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Gold | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | cheesefrog | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | bROWNMAn | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bROWNMAn | 662 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #2 | cheesefrog | 609 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #3 | 2Pockets | 344 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | Gold | 304 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | crazySMD | 300 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crazySMD | +1.35 | 70 | 52 |
| #2 | JordaN | +0.81 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | LIL UGLY HIME | +0.07 | 54 | 65 |
| #4 | cheesefrog | +0.03 | 61 | 71 |
| #5 | 2Pockets | +0.01 | 61 | 61 |





