








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1711 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1501 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1490 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1836 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1485 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $776,734 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .PhoeniX | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | gooberchu | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | Syst3m-ss- | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | Gold | 46% | 65 |
| #5 | cheesefrog | 44% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | cheesefrog | 44% | 68 |
| #6 | crazySMD | 44% | 147 |
| #7 | bunX | 41% | 126 |
| #8 | JordaN | 38% | 16 |
| #9 | bROWNMAn | 35% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crazySMD | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | bunX | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | bROWNMAn | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Gold | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | cheesefrog | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bunX | 324 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | bROWNMAn | 221 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | cheesefrog | 188 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | crazySMD | 155 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | gooberchu | 98 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crazySMD | +1.00 | 70 | 52 |
| #2 | .PhoeniX | +0.36 | 52 | 47 |
| #3 | cheesefrog | +0.27 | 66 | 70 |
| #4 | 2Pockets | +0.16 | 61 | 62 |
| #5 | Syst3m-ss- | +0.09 | 65 | 53 |





