








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 348 matches | ||
| Faceit | 183 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,600 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8372 | 41% |
| Smokes | 4510 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4314 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3404 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $795,530 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Homo Faber | 52% | 60 |
| #2 | cKoL# | 51% | 78 |
| #3 | Liam #drz | 51% | 82 |
| #4 | EDL GoombaTZ | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | ArmV1 | 48% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Lou | 45% | 82 |
| #8 | Globalik | 44% | 73 |
| #9 | Mike | 43% | 94 |
| #10 | ^Dv | 41% | 44 |
| #11 | Rizky | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clarky | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Globalik | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Rizky | 6 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | Liam #drz | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Lou | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Liam #drz | 315 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | Mike | 300 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Globalik | 284 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | Clarky | 242 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Lou | 216 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lou | +2.18 | 88 | 53 |
| #2 | Rizky | +1.80 | 71 | 65 |
| #3 | cKoL# | +1.06 | 72 | 66 |
| #4 | EDL GoombaTZ | +0.86 | 59 | 62 |
| #5 | azure | +0.75 | 75 | 56 |





