








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2850 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,273 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 489 | 6% |
| Smokes | 1948 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3711 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 2125 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,094,627 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maschock | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | dim8 | 57% | 61 |
| #3 | R0$4 | 52% | 73 |
| #4 | Sir Vive | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | SOL1DUDE | 51% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Tauboga | 47% | 17 |
| #9 | eXe | 45% | 77 |
| #10 | cyberaser | 43% | 69 |
| #11 | S1rv1v4L | 43% | 77 |
| #12 | boiler_ | 37% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dim8 | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | boiler_ | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | S1rv1v4L | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | R0$4 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | SOL1DUDE | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boiler_ | 323 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | dim8 | 197 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | SOL1DUDE | 172 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | cyberaser | 149 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | R0$4 | 121 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tauboga | +4.17 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | dim8 | +3.03 | 63 | 67 |
| #3 | SOL1DUDE | +2.47 | 77 | 57 |
| #4 | Maschock | +2.00 | 68 | 62 |
| #5 | R0$4 | +0.94 | 74 | 64 |





