








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 975 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 388 matches | ||
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Renown | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6182 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,090 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4105 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6789 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5919 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5277 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,819,128 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 386 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eddy | 72% | 53 |
| #2 | stev.v | 67% | 54 |
| #3 | boiler_ | 57% | 68 |
| #4 | S1rv1v4L | 57% | 82 |
| #5 | dim8 | 57% | 288 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | cyberaser | 52% | 374 |
| #12 | Mr_J_Reese | 51% | 63 |
| #13 | Bobbes | 46% | 125 |
| #14 | atari teenage riot | 43% | 51 |
| #15 | Kontrabandist | 39% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dim8 | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | R0$4 | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Maschock | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | cyberaser | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | boiler_ | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cyberaser | 1057 | 0.13 | 26 min |
| #2 | dim8 | 960 | 0.16 | 28 min |
| #3 | R0$4 | 657 | 0.08 | 20 min |
| #4 | Maschock | 518 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #5 | stev.v | 282 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stev.v | +2.65 | 82 | 71 |
| #2 | SOL1DUDE | +2.18 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | dim8 | +1.96 | 59 | 74 |
| #4 | Kontrabandist | +1.55 | 85 | 55 |
| #5 | R0$4 | +1.25 | 79 | 61 |





