








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,782 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1195 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1243 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 966 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1378 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $224,598 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DanieL | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | awoope | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | zoopr3me | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | TnS | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | xo | 55% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Armeretta | 50% | 24 |
| #8 | floorine | 46% | 13 |
| #9 | Cable_ | 40% | 10 |
| #10 | Hound | 40% | 10 |
| #11 | ⛟ 4me | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BocchiTheAwp | 9 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | xo | 6 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | floorine | 2 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Hound | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xo | 210 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | Armeretta | 134 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #3 | BocchiTheAwp | 93 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | floorine | 45 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | DanieL | 43 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hound | +3.11 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | DanieL | +2.83 | 83 | 67 |
| #3 | Armeretta | +1.78 | 68 | 72 |
| #4 | TnS | +1.51 | 76 | 67 |
| #5 | BocchiTheAwp | +0.69 | 74 | 52 |





