










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
127 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 498 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 218 | 44% |
| Smokes | 117 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 46 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 117 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $84,200 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wifimonking | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | catcatcat | 100% | 5 |
| #3 | goop | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | THRILA | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | snakeboy439 | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | catcatcat | 100% | 5 |
| #3 | goop | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | THRILA | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | snakeboy439 | 40% | 10 |
| #6 | funk | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wifimonking | 15 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #2 | goop | 12 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #3 | THRILA | 12 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #4 | snakeboy439 | 9 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | catcatcat | 6 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | catcatcat | +5.06 | 73 | 63 |
| #2 | THRILA | +4.86 | 85 | 53 |
| #3 | wifimonking | +4.03 | 37 | 62 |
| #4 | goop | +3.23 | 76 | 49 |
| #5 | snakeboy439 | -0.17 | 79 | 49 |





