








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 753 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1511 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 986 | 20% |
| Smokes | 541 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1816 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1492 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $792,857 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | iCantStop | 43% | 54 |
| #7 | gnalterk1d | 40% | 42 |
| #8 | Tob | 33% | 12 |
| #9 | FragRanc3 | 27% | 22 |
| #10 | ǝʞᴉǝH | 13% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rafael_Peder | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | MotoMoto | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | iCantStop | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | ǝʞᴉǝH | 4 | 0.0112 |
| #5 | zelly | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MotoMoto | 408 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | zelly | 203 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Rafael_Peder | 165 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | gnalterk1d | 126 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | iCantStop | 119 | 0.10 | 3 min |





