








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1714 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,346 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1051 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1079 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1061 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1155 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $439,085 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xBroTheRx | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Raxu | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | RagerRich | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | WhifferCS | 59% | 51 |
| #5 | BloodRuby | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WhifferCS | 15 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | Biggie P Papa Rough Assassin | 12 | 0.0179 |
| #3 | The one | 4 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | DXJIN GXLDEN HAVXC | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Icon | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fiveso | 270 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | WhifferCS | 174 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | DXJIN GXLDEN HAVXC | 123 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Icon | 116 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Biggie P Papa Rough Assassin | 67 | 0.10 | 1 min |





