








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2724 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,258 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2675 | 43% |
| Smokes | 1371 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 600 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1612 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $644,652 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keyboard go CLACKCLACK | 76% | 33 |
| #2 | CarSex537 | 75% | 20 |
| #3 | Latency | 71% | 31 |
| #4 | howareyou | 69% | 222 |
| #5 | Spudz | 69% | 202 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spudz | 17 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | howareyou | 14 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | DRAKE | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Keyboard go CLACKCLACK | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | ant | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ant | +2.93 | 82 | 62 |
| #2 | ZYPHERUS | +2.63 | 92 | 59 |
| #3 | Spudz | +2.19 | 84 | 64 |
| #4 | howareyou | +0.66 | 84 | 72 |
| #5 | Latency | -0.08 | 63 | 66 |





