








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 313 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 488 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4693 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,590 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7225 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6212 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5137 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4016 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,463,128 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpoonerN | 56% | 52 |
| #2 | qern | 55% | 122 |
| #3 | Chelbo | 51% | 118 |
| #4 | Eriksen | 50% | 421 |
| #5 | Lars Petter | 50% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eriksen | 18 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | jrN | 16 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Lars Petter | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | qern | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Chelbo | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jrN | 487 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | Eriksen | 344 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #3 | SpoonerN | 342 | 0.32 | 10 min |
| #4 | Lars Petter | 300 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #5 | qern | 271 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lars Petter | +2.10 | 84 | 66 |
| #2 | jrN | +1.96 | 82 | 55 |
| #3 | qern | +1.23 | 83 | 63 |
| #4 | SpoonerN | +0.97 | 66 | 71 |
| #5 | Ditlefsen | +0.71 | 85 | 55 |





