








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1214 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1460 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2155 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2322 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $528,484 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petter Lars | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | Noni | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | letths.haugeny | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | Mehh | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | Lars Petter | 50% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skruffe | 259 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | jrN | 205 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Lars Petter | 147 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Eriksen | 66 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | letths.haugeny | 66 | 0.14 | 2 min |





