








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 214 matches | ||
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3730 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,911 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2279 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2720 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1071 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1841 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,155,765 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | garfield khan | 51% | 51 |
| #2 | Sticky | 46% | 127 |
| #3 | Kellz | 45% | 82 |
| #4 | ShitVAN | 44% | 141 |
| #5 | Kenny McCormick | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kenny McCormick | 44% | 39 |
| #6 | CoReVisionary | 43% | 21 |
| #7 | Ronnie<3 | 41% | 49 |
| #8 | OGPIZZAHUT420tv | 40% | 182 |
| #9 | Unholy_Paladin | 25% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OGPIZZAHUT420tv | 40 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | Kellz | 19 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | ShitVAN | 12 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Sticky | 12 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Unholy_Paladin | 8 | 0.0096 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sticky | 413 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | Kellz | 256 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | ShitVAN | 165 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | OGPIZZAHUT420tv | 125 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | garfield khan | 103 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kellz | +2.83 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | Kenny McCormick | +0.86 | 57 | 61 |
| #3 | CoReVisionary | +0.10 | 55 | 76 |
| #4 | FlappyBirdLover67 | -0.03 | 69 | 47 |
| #5 | Sticky | -0.32 | 64 | 63 |





