








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 127 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1239 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,760 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 451 | 16% |
| Smokes | 572 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 927 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 810 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $173,195 of utility $40 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | FlappyBirdLover67 | 40% | 182 |
| #6 | CoReVisionary | 36% | 25 |
| #7 | Ronnie<3 | 33% | 15 |
| #8 | Kellz | 33% | 24 |
| #9 | Unholy_Paladin | 21% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlappyBirdLover67 | 15 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Unholy_Paladin | 9 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | Kenny McCormick | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | ShitVAN | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Sticky | 3 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlappyBirdLover67 | 311 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | Sticky | 96 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | ShitVAN | 80 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kenny McCormick | 77 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kellz | 54 | 0.11 | 1 min |





