








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 207 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 157 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1169 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,594 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 955 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1869 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2123 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 647 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $481,030 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 355 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenny McCormick | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | OGPIZZAHUT420tv | 45% | 73 |
| #3 | FlappyBirdLover67 | 44% | 141 |
| #4 | CoReVisionary | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenny McCormick | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | OGPIZZAHUT420tv | 45% | 73 |
| #3 | FlappyBirdLover67 | 44% | 141 |
| #4 | CoReVisionary | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OGPIZZAHUT420tv | 11 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | FlappyBirdLover67 | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | CoReVisionary | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlappyBirdLover67 | 243 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | OGPIZZAHUT420tv | 68 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | CoReVisionary | 37 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kenny McCormick | 17 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenny McCormick | +1.14 | 63 | 67 |
| #2 | FlappyBirdLover67 | +0.58 | 73 | 49 |
| #3 | CoReVisionary | -0.16 | 54 | 78 |
| #4 | OGPIZZAHUT420tv | -0.55 | 34 | 31 |
| #5 | ShitVAN | -1.22 | 61 | 57 |





