








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1892 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,868 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1886 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2408 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2107 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1467 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $447,850 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ronnie<3 | 57% | 89 |
| #2 | Kellz | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | Sticky | 53% | 172 |
| #4 | cm0p | 53% | 58 |
| #5 | FlappyBirdLover67 | 51% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ronnie<3 | 25 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | Sticky | 16 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Kellz | 15 | 0.0144 |
| #4 | cm0p | 7 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | FlappyBirdLover67 | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sticky | 591 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | Kellz | 209 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | cm0p | 182 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | FlappyBirdLover67 | 97 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ronnie<3 | 72 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kellz | +2.98 | 68 | 61 |
| #2 | cm0p | +2.68 | 88 | 63 |
| #3 | Sticky | +0.46 | 67 | 67 |
| #4 | Ronnie<3 | -0.74 | 55 | 43 |
| #5 | garfield khan | -0.83 | 58 | 57 |





