








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
838 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 980 | 34% |
| Smokes | 606 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 710 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 552 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $214,279 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BabyCoon | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | astral Jags | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | LUVisWAR | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Sciliya | 51% | 79 |
| #5 | IcyEspy | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Always | 47% | 59 |
| #8 | ✰Rotirail✰ | 45% | 22 |
| #9 | Holden Tudix | 45% | 31 |
| #10 | bashful kitten | 41% | 51 |
| #11 | Alcohol Abuser | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sciliya | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | bashful kitten | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Alcohol Abuser | 3 | 0.0233 |
| #4 | Always | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Rektbaka | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Always | 129 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Rektbaka | 73 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Holden Tudix | 68 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | bashful kitten | 59 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sciliya | 39 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | astral Jags | +3.51 | 74 | 20 |
| #2 | LUVisWAR | +3.08 | 71 | 54 |
| #3 | Accursed | +2.01 | 73 | 62 |
| #4 | ✰Rotirail✰ | +1.57 | 47 | 47 |
| #5 | bashful kitten | +1.53 | 57 | 48 |





