








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2283 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2054 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1952 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1746 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1537 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $304,568 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LithuanianDonkey | 75% | 64 |
| #2 | Virdulys | 70% | 33 |
| #3 | likedom | 68% | 93 |
| #4 | ropzius | 67% | 52 |
| #5 | SpOty↯ | 64% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ropzius | 67% | 52 |
| #5 | SpOty↯ | 64% | 14 |
| #6 | ✪LamBaDa | 64% | 169 |
| #7 | Amnesia | 61% | 61 |
| #8 | B L I $ T E R | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | likedom | 10 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | LithuanianDonkey | 7 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | ✪LamBaDa | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Amnesia | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | ropzius | 4 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪LamBaDa | 629 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #2 | ropzius | 193 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | likedom | 181 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Amnesia | 119 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | LithuanianDonkey | 62 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪LamBaDa | +2.11 | 78 | 79 |
| #2 | Shadow | +1.95 | 84 | 66 |
| #3 | likedom | +1.44 | 85 | 65 |
| #4 | LithuanianDonkey | +0.84 | 78 | 59 |
| #5 | ropzius | -0.23 | 71 | 61 |





