








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3555 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,649 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1927 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2262 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1959 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1501 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $861,542 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Virdulys | 78% | 27 |
| #2 | Shadow | 75% | 64 |
| #3 | ropzius | 68% | 25 |
| #4 | ✪LamBaDa | 68% | 102 |
| #5 | likedom | 60% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ✪LamBaDa | 68% | 102 |
| #5 | likedom | 60% | 117 |
| #6 | khann. :> | 52% | 54 |
| #7 | R4lez. | 38% | 26 |
| #8 | Monika | 24% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | likedom | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Shadow | 9 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | R4lez. | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | ropzius | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | ✪LamBaDa | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪LamBaDa | 366 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | likedom | 234 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Shadow | 162 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | ropzius | 91 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | khann. :> | 38 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪LamBaDa | +2.82 | 76 | 77 |
| #2 | Shadow | +2.15 | 81 | 65 |
| #3 | likedom | +1.56 | 86 | 64 |
| #4 | khann. :> | +0.60 | 88 | 49 |
| #5 | ropzius | -0.14 | 75 | 58 |





